Please let tommorow be better!

Well today I ate alot =( Got up earlier because I had a friend coming over with her baby for a photoshoot, and stupidly I ate even though I wasn't even hungry!!!! Not cool.
Ate an orange&Kiwifruit. Sigh. I really hope my self control gets better!!!!
Didn't eat till I found some biscuits, then I ate 2 =( Had some green tea then started getting ready. Didn't eat till after she'd gone, around 3pm. Then ate another orange.
At least it was fruit! Dinner was a salad I made with all good ingredients&then made a fruit salad for dessert&had a little icecream. Less than I normally eat, but the portions need to be smaller next time. Then it will be better!

And I need to stop being lazy and start exercising! I used to do hundreds of situps every night =( Now I can't because I badly bruised my lower back last time&couldn't do them for a week or so, after that I just gave up. Housework is NOT enough exercise!

The scales aren't going down low enough!!! It's so frustrating barely eating anything all day only to have them show that you only lost .5kg the next day!!!!
I need to lose it quicker! Thinking diet pills! I just don't have the money to buy them =(

Wonder if anyone who reads this, has any ideas on how to lose weight quicker????
HEEEELP???? Desperate!
Well, going to watch Corpse Bride by Tim Burton (One of my favourite movies by my all time favourite director!!!)
Hope everyone has a great night <3
xxx

Failure

Well, as usual, I did sooo well during the day! Ate basically nothing!
Drank cups of green tea&honey to burn up the cals&keep me going.
But then family came over for dinner...=TORTURE!!!
Having people watch what I eat, how much etc.
I hate it!!!! O_O
Ate some salad&roasted potatoes, and all I could think about, was all that fat going in my body. IT WAS HORRIBLE!!!!
I prefer being alone when eating, or not eating! Hate having people watching me! It's aweful =( I feel like a complete failure.
Then I freaken binged on some favourite chocos that my sister left around.
Arghhh. All that hard work for nothing! Chocolate is the worst thing I could've had! =( *Sigh* Tommorow MUST be better! Will be out at church in morning then maybe photoshoot in afternoon. I MUST DO BETTER!
I must lose all this fat! I want it all gone! Yuck.
Bedtime soon! Sleep burns calories. Good. I need it.
I have to do this. My cousins gave me some clothes, so that's new thinspo for me! Cause they are super tiny!!!!! So that helped heaps. Want to fit a size 6!
I miss small sizes.
Gotta wear baggy stuff around my family though, or they'll get suspicious.
Realised yesterday that I always seem to eat more around my boyfriend! O_O
I binge so much with him! Compulsion to eat. Shall fix that!!!!
Food shopping tommorow with Mum.
Fat free or low fat food to buy now! And super healthy! Fruit and vege!
YumYumYum! No more junk I can binge on!
No matter how much I want it momentiarily, I don't Need it!
Anywho. Stand strong people!
Sweetdreams


Oh yeah, and my fave celeb thinspo would be Nicole Richie <3
I love her ano body! <3 And Jessica Tovey from Home&Away <3
She left but she got sooo skinny at the end! Watched it just to see her.
xxx

First blog!!! Yahhh. Finally started one.

Hello my new blog!
So glad I finally got around to making one! Now I can keep busy on those days when I'm home alone and haven't got much work to do! Since I do all the housework =)
I'm like a little housewife with no husband! Haha.
Well, writing a bit about me aye? Since this is my blog and all, guessing people would want to know a little about me!
Well, the basic bullet points are in my about me section, which I will get around to cleaning up sometime. I'm Misaki, hello! ^_^
I love everything to do with Japan, I hope to visit there with my boyfriend in the next few years. Have some saving to do first! SHOPPING! Haha.

I'm a GothicKitten, as my boyfriend calls me =^_^= I wear cat ears most of the time!
Brought them about 2 years ago and just fell in love with them! Felt so me!!!
I plan to make/buy many different types! =) At the moment, I just have a black&white one =) I brought a black one =( But lost it at a camp.

I'm pro ana. I plan on losing alot of weight then my bestie&I will be treating ourselves to navel piercings! I love tattoos&piercings! Plan to get many!!! =)
At the moment I have a nose ring on right side, 2 stretched ears [one on each ear, at the bottom] and a second piercing in each ear. No tattoos yet, but am planning/designing a few! I want to get a second nose ring on the same side, 3 more ear piercings on both ears, navel piercing and that's about it at the moment =)

My favourite colour is black!!!! ^_^ 2nd and 3rd are cadbury purple&emerald green.
My room is very creative as it's changed&added to alot! It is my bubble =) It's my canvas! Haha. I love it. Will show photos sometime. I'm mostly gothic, which is what others tell me all the time. I mostly wear black, not because I'm trying to be something I'm not, or to draw attention to myself but because I feel like me when I'm dressed the way I do.
I don't fake myself to fit in with some kind of crowd. Actually, all my friends wear colour! ^_^ I'm just being me. Not what others want me to be. I've finally found myself =)
 I'm sometimes sadistic, and optimistic pessimist is what I call myself.
A realist! I tell it like it is. I dislike lying&untruths. I prefer others to be honest with me and don't expect them to lie to protect me. I'm overprotective over my friends. They mean the world to me and I can't stand around watching them get hurt. If someone hurts them, then it's my business too.

I have FINALLY gotten my first Pullip doll-Raven [Naomi Pullip]. She's so very beautiful&I love her! Am a member of the Flicker community <3 I post photos of her alot. Well, the few I've taken of her so far! Her birthday is the 24th August 2010 [when she finally came]
Waiting for her was horrible!

I currently have no job. Was at uni last year then had a bad wrist injury in Nov ish.
Was on my writing hand =( AWEFUL! Couldn't do much. Had physio then went to the hand specialist and in feb I had surgery! Torn cartilige&ligament. Ouchy! But it's all better now! Just have some weird scarring which I say looks like aliens abducted me! Haha.

I have alot of health problems&am accident prone! Always some kind of injury O_o
At the doctors& A&E alot! =( I had Endometriosis. Which is an immensly painful disease. Went on many pain medications&pills to make it better, but none worked so in the end we gave up&were asked to go to specialist who did surgery on me&found out I had it. Arghh. They cut it all out =) Still alot of pain, so I'm not meant to have periods- YAHHH!
Haha. <3 So yeah, some interesting scars in that one! 3 1cm ones on stomach&one inside my belly button as well.

I love photography and photo editing! I've done alot of both. I prefer nature photos, but have started doing portrait ones of people =) Getting experience&my portfolio done.
Will post some of my photos at later dates.

Wow, what else to say?  Yes, Pro ana. That I am =) I'm currently 56.5kg [as I checked this morning] At my lowest I was 50kg- In last 2 years of college. And I was very happy.
After college, I piled on the kgs which is freaken horrible!!!! O_O Finally putting my feet down and stopping snacking! =) It feels awesome barely eating anything!
I eat fruit and drink Green tea with honey! Yumyum =)
Anywho. Time for me to go now =)
Follow me if you wish =)
xxx
Misaki