Binges to the MAX

So i've spent the last 2-3 days binging, and I feel AWEFUL!
The days started out sooo well with just drinking not eating, but all ended up with me binging on crap at the night times =(
It's so upsetting! Was so happy getting down to 55 =( FINALLY. But then screwing it up.
Ate loads tonight because I decided that will be my last binge! Going on a salt water detox diet tommorow! =) Will be doing that in the morning, then doing my liquid diet for the rest of the day! Happy happy. Thinking of all the calories I will burn!
Too scared to jump on the scales...Haven't checked them for 2 mornings now...Too scared of how high they will be! O_O

Wishing I had more ana friends...I could have so much more support!
It's aweful doing this alone. =(  Feeling obeses.
I keep busy doing housework, but I still think about food non stop =(
I keep baking too. Creating delicious food.
Which everyone else can eat but I won't.
That keeps me busy =)
Makes me rather happy too!

So these last few days haven't been the best =(
Was rather stressed and upset and I obviously didn't take it too well [binges].
Anywho. My boyfriend&I had a fight =( Very unhappy one.
Been alot of tension lately from the last fight and it's felt so fragile.
He came over wed, and I didn't want him to go. Knew I wouldn't see him for ages no matter how many times he told me that we would hang out on Fri...
Well Fri came, I woke up in a bad mood =s We had a fight.
I was telling him not to bother coming as I had lots to do.
He started throwing up. So I forced him to stay home.
Was so upset. =( Wanted to be with him but couldn't. Friday is our special day.
We always spend it together. Also it was the week we didn't have our kids club on, so it was the friday to relax and watch movies. But then he was sick =(
So next week we have kids club and yeah...No special alone time =(
We need it now more than ever.

He ended up coming over for a few hours after work on Sat.
So we just cuddled on the couch watching some lame movie.
[He told me he'd be leaving early next wed as he had to have dinner with his sister...seems like his family are always in the way of us being together =( Doesn't he seem to realise how important it is for us to spend time together atm?!?!? MALES!]
I didn't want him to leave =( Well he left at 12ish and went home to sleep as he had church in the morning and had to see his dad in arvo.
Well, I wondered why he hadn't tx me at all this morning [Sun], he finally tx around 1:30pm saying he'd slept through his alarm and had just woken up...I wasn't happy as we could've spent longer together last night! =(
Well in short, he didn't end up seeing his dad as he was too sick [Flu].
So he stayed home and slept and I went crazy with boredom and lonliness... =(

So my weekend basically sucked...Bad!
Was boring with so much food, too much free time, and yeah, was just horrible.
Well there's my boring life for ya!
Hoping this week is better and I lose LOTS of weight!!!!

Sweetdreams my Beauties <3
Lose weight!
<3
xxx