Life is what it is.

Well my boyfriend finally came over last night, after work.
Over an hour late though...
I was in tears when he finally walked through the door.
He came and held me.
I cried then got up and walked out to blow my nose, then went into another room and started sobbing, on the floor, in the dark.
After a few mins he came in an just held me while I sobbed.
It was horrible.
Haven't been able to properly cry for awhile, so that felt nice.
A release.
He ended up crying with me and we talked a bit. Then just cuddled on the couch.
Felt so good to just talk. Haven't done that in ages and we really needed it.
Stayed up till past 2am talking about things. We normally go to bed around 12am as my parents don't like us up past then. Bed time...curfew...At our age! Haha.
Nah, I respect their wishes, we just needed to talk badly. We've been through so much lately. It's been so stressful and our relationship has been suffering badly. Been so close to breaking up many times. Funny thing is, I couldn't live without him.
I truely couldn't =( He's my everything.

Barely ate today. Measured out 3/4c of Berry kellogs...[done this 2-3 days in a row...] and put that in a packet then peeled two carrots and packed them too. Did this last night&put in my day bag, ready to go to my boyf's place. Ate kellogs for lunch and didn't eat till the carrots for dinner. Then it kinda went downhill =(
Went to library to return books and decided to get more out.
Looked up all these anorexic books. So i've got my thinspo&motivation for the next 2 weeks! Rather pleased I found such good books. Pity they didn't have the top 3 ano books I really wanted, but ahh well. Will buy them one day.

Was looking after my kids group, and we made pancakes with them.
Luckily boyf came back in time to eat most of mine, so I didn't have to.
Ate a bit less than half.
Came home feeling yuck =( Missed his heaps and there was a massive storm today so felt aweful. Just wanted to be with him. Hmmm.
Binged alot when home. Was horrible =(
Feeling so freakn fat. Not even going to list the crap I ate. Was so proud of feeling full from the Kellogs and carrots =( Stupidly ruined my diet!
Need diet pills badly. Hmmm. ANywho.
At home now. Seeing him on tues...ages away =( Ahhh well.

Sweetdreams all.
Hope I can soon write a good day!
xxx